Why You Don’t Owe a Lifetime to the Life You Once Said Yes To

There comes a pivotal moment in the career of every high-achieving woman—especially those in education, leadership, or mission-driven work—when the path she once actively chose begins to feel misaligned. Although, the mission may not have changed— You love the mission. The high levels of execution may stay also stay the same— You respect the role and the impact this role could have on others. But something in your spirit is whispering, “You’re meant for more.” That’s because, internally, something feels unsettled. 

And then the guilt creeps in.

• How can I want more when this work is so meaningful?

• How do I honor the sacrifices I've made without feeling bound to them?

• Am I being ungrateful to consider leaving something I once prayed for?

How dare you want something else when others see your work as noble, necessary—even sacred? Here’s the truth: You don’t owe anyone a lifetime of sacrifice just because you once said yes. You are allowed to grow. You are allowed to pivot to something greater. The guilt you’re feeling are not signs of failure. They are signs of evolution. 

📜 The Unspoken Framework We Inherited

Many of us inherited an unspoken framework for success—shaped by society, institutions, and generational narratives.

This framework taught us to:

• Prioritize stability over fulfillment

• Remain loyal to systems that do not always serve us

• Avoid disrupting the status quo

• Shrink our desires in the name of responsibility

And so, we stay.

We persist.

We tinker at the edges.

We rework our daily schedules, tweak our boundaries, take another training, or rewrite the same goals in a new template—hoping that incremental change will somehow reignite a fire that’s already gone out.

We tell ourselves:

“If I just explain my vision more clearly next time, they’ll finally understand where I’m coming from.”  Even when we’ve already shared it—in staff meetings, in one-on-ones, in strategic plans—and been dismissed or misinterpreted.

“If I stay quiet in this meeting and don’t ask too many questions, maybe they’ll stop labeling me as difficult or too passionate.”  Even though staying quiet chips away at our confidence and our leadership presence.

“If I take on just one more committee—seven instead of six—maybe this time my dedication will finally be recognized in my evaluation.” Even though our performance has been excellent for years, and the recognition remains surface-level.

“If I just let it go, I’ll get over it.” Even though the “it” is not a moment—but a pattern. A collection of micro-injustices, overlooked labor, or value misalignment that keeps building.

“If I just hold on a little longer, the system will shift. The culture will improve. I’ll feel better again.” Even though we can already feel it—this isn’t a bad week. This is the beginning of a deeper truth: We’ve outgrown the role we once fit inside.

But more often than not, small changes preserve the very conditions that created the misalignment in the first place.

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In the book 10x is Easier Than 2x, authors Dan Sullivan and Dr. Benjamin Hardy, share a bold insight:

Small changes are harder than big ones—because small changes allow us to stay the same on the inside.

For me it’s like applying the Go hard or Go Home mentality. Incremental shifts offer temporary relief, and tend to create a slow and sometimes painful transformation. They keep us tethered to outdated identities and unspoken rules that were designed for a version of us we’ve already outgrown. They do not challenge the internal beliefs that limit our growth. Incremental shifts allow us to remain visible, yet still misaligned. Accomplished, yet still unfulfilled.

By contrast, expansive change—what the book calls 10x change, is the kind that rewrites what’s possible—and demands a transformation of mindset and identity.

It requires us to:

• See ourselves differently

• Lead from a new level of consciousness

• Imagine futures that do not yet exist within the current system

  
  

This kind of change is not reckless—it is rigorous. It is not irresponsible—it is visionary. The most transformational leaders are visionaries because they are masters of the pivot! And for those of us called to lead with integrity, authenticity, and impact—it is required.

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💫You Have Permission to Pivot

From teacher to principal. From leader of one school to eighteen. From district decision-maker to full-blown entrepreneur. I’ve burned the playbook more than once. Each time, I did it with reverence. Because I knew that what got me here wouldn’t carry me there.

Here’s what I mean:

As a teacher, my impact was centered on my classroom. When I became a principal, my leadership needed to extend to every educator, every student, and every family in the building. I could no longer lead from the comfort of familiarity; I had to stretch my vision—and my capacity.

The same identity shift occurred again when I moved from principal to district leadership, and then again when I chose to leave the traditional system entirely to build a mission-driven company of my own.

Each time, I had to rewrite the rules. Not out of rebellion, but out of necessity. The frameworks that once served me could no longer sustain the woman—and the leader—I was becoming.

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✨ Letting Go With Reverence, Not Guilt

There is a reverence in recognizing when it is time to move on. Releasing the old version of success does not invalidate it—it honors it for what it offered. But we cannot carry old rules into new roles. We cannot lead a new vision with a mindset that was designed for a previous version of ourselves.

If you are sensing that your current environment—however noble, however impactful—can no longer hold your full potential, it is not a failure of loyalty. It is a call to alignment.

❓A Question for Reflection

What professional rule, belief, or expectation are you still living by—one that no longer serves the leader you are becoming?

This is not a rhetorical question. It is an invitation. One that, if answered honestly, could initiate your next chapter. Because you are allowed to evolve. You are allowed to want peace, expansion, and joy. And yes, you are allowed to pivot—even from something you once considered your dream.

Growth is not a betrayal of your past. It is an investment in your future. Growth is not a rejection of your friends and loved ones. Growth is your birth right.

As you consider your next step, remember this: The version of you that once needed the old playbook is not the version leading your life today.

Give yourself permission to release it—and in doing so, reclaim the freedom, clarity, and vision that will carry you forward. 🔄

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🎧 Listen to the full episode here